Arty. I hate to burst your bubble, but check out the command:
PHP Code:
java.lang.System.getenviron()
Google it for more info.
'Apple Macintosh' - An anagram of 'Complaints Heap'
M.A.C.I.N.T.O.S.H. - Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs.
You're *such* a mac person.