Story time!
 

So here's how this works. I make a post about someone in a situation, and whoever posts first after me posts what he should do in this situation. Then I post that he does this action, and it leads to another situation. Thus the story keeps getting bigger and bigger, more and more things keep happening, and eventually we conquer the galaxy.

So!

A teenage boy sits at a computer in his house. However, he is bewildered, because he seems to have forgotten his name. (This is probably like the fifth time this month that this has happened.)

What is his name?...

He shall call the hospital for his birth certificate and find out.
(His name is gurtrude, by the way)

He decides to call the hospital for his birth certificate, and discovers that his name is Gurtrude. Now he remembers why he forgot it: he hates it with a passion.

But it's his name, and now he's stuck with it.

Gurtrude is very bored today. He needs to do something fun or he will explode. What should he do?

He will make a suit entirely out of old pairs of jeans.

He'll wear this suit in public, call himself "The Denim Defender," and fight crime.

That way, his terrible name is now his secret identity (much cooler), and no one will ever suspect the weird guy named Gurtrude is the man behind the mask.

Gurtrude makes a suit out of old pairs of jeans and goes out into the world to fight crime as the Denim Defender.
By a strange coincidence, he steps out into the streets of the city just in time to see a guy mugging a helpless old lady. What does he do?

The Denim Defender decides that he will defend people in court, since he's weak and scrawny. He goes on to defend said mugger.

The Denim Defender offers his services as a lawyer to the mugger. The mugger, apparently desperate for any kind of legal help at all, accepts.
The mugger is found guilty very quickly (probably has something to do with his lawyer's strange outfit), but at least the Denim Defender gets a wad of cash from him for his legal help (all stolen from helpless old ladies, no doubt).
D.D. is now thoroughly bewildered, but happy to have a large wad of cash. What does he do?

Since we seem to be going for an unlikable protagonist:

He should use the money to buy parts for a doomsday device, then assemble those parts in his basement.

D.D. (I don't feel like typing Denim Defender all the time) uses his wad of cash to buy pieces of a doomsday device from his local Doomsday Device Pieces R Us, but alas! He only has enough cash for half the pieces of the doomsday device!

Oh well. He can worry about that later. Right now he needs to set up the pieces he has.

He goes to his house, but is stopped at the door by his mother, who is angry at no longer having any old jeans, and suspicious of the large number of doomsday device pieces he is carrying. What should D.D. do?

(Hmm...The Denim Defender's Doomsday Device...I like that.)

The Denim Defender buys his Mom more jeans and she becomes Jeans Girl, his sidekick, and he hypnotizes her so she will help him build the Doomsday Device.